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Ibis group SSPIT protests ugly port plans

9 Apr
Mozart and Coltrane, a local comedy ibis duo, want to SSPIT on council plans to wreck the Seaway with a big fat port

Mozart and Coltrane, a local comedy ibis duo, want to SSPIT on council plans to wreck the Seaway with a big fat port

PRESS RELEASE

April 9, 2014

Stop Spit Port Ibis Team

Two lovely ibis have gone public about their disgust over plans to build a big rotten port in the seaway at the Southport Spit.

Mozart and Coltrane Ibis say they represent all of the beautiful Broadwater water birds, marine animals and plants when they say they don’t want a stupid port for a stupid love boat on the Gold Coast.

“We rarely get involved in anything but sanitation issues but the garbage about this port has gone on too long, which is why we formed a protest group called “Stop Spit Port Ibis Team” or SSPIT for short.

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“Bugger the bloody Spit Port idiots,” Mozart says.

“They can stick their filthy port idea up their cloaca,” says Coltrane.

The rubber fetish ibis say they haven’t done anything ethical for a long time, but they have been waiting for the right issue to bring out good old fashioned ibis ethics.

SSPIT says they want people to call the dirty port idea by a name that tells you how revolting it is, which is why the ibis have dubbed it the Spit Port.

“If a cruise ship ever comes near this place we are going to fill up on as much junk food and festering garbage dump juice as we can eat and spray that thing all day and all night,” Coltrane says.

SSPIT say they know that the awful port will bring more garbage for them to eat to the seaway but they care too much about the conserving the area to be motivated by pure self interest.

“We normally only think of ourselves but this is different. This is a marine garden of nature on the Gold Coast’s doorstep, it’s too valuable for our kids to risk,” SSPIT say.

Media Contact: Mozart Ibis 1800cloaca
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3 Responses to “Ibis group SSPIT protests ugly port plans”

  1. Rose Adams April 10, 2014 at 12:21 am #

    Congratulations for taking your beaks out of the bins to squawk about this vital issue. Hopefully you will be joined by Seagull Spitfighters. Pied Oystercatcher Spit crews and, once a year, our friends from Siberia, the Arctic Tern -back- the- cruise- boats team. Maybe some of your human admirers can lend a hand to keep the rotten ships out of our Broadwater.

    • micsmithgeographic April 10, 2014 at 12:56 am #

      It’s not easy be such an unpopular bird on the Gold Coast but we are inviting people to rise above their resentments of ibis and support SSPIT. Next time we pull our head out of the bin we don’t want to see a big ugly Spit Port. SPITT is glad you mentioned the Seagull Spitfighters, the Pied Oystercatcher Spit Crew because we want to introduce a few more groups of Angry Birds who dont want a revolting Spit Port. Get behind the Arctic Tern Teeth Chattering Tate Haters, the Turtles against Council Torts and the Spit Digging Dugongs. Save this beautiful place on the Gold Coast’s doorstep for fun times, swimming in your undies, sleeping under tea trees in the back of your ute, surfing, calm water swimming, diving, snorkling, dragon boat training, kiting, ultra lights, jet skis wake boarding and the odd barby. For the little ibis that havent hatched yet – SSPIT says ‘stick the Spit Port’

  2. cone August 26, 2014 at 1:35 am #

    ibis appreciation society / facebook. Nice One Mozart & Coltrane .. you dirty ibis Rawk ! Bless. 🙂

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